


I feel like i'm dead

by orphan_account



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Depression, M/M, Sad Ending, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2016-07-17
Packaged: 2018-07-24 15:09:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7512968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daniil is battling with himself, he sees no light and does something that can't be undone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I feel like i'm dead

Daniil is walking back to his flat from a nightclub. Leaves are crackling softly under his trainers and he can do nothing but listen the soft sound. This would be a sound he would miss after doing  _it_. Wind is blowing to his ear. He doesn't want it to bother him anymore. He doesn't want anything. Not anymore. His time is over. 

 

He walks through the downtown, heading to a place that is so familiar to him. He steps into a little shop and hears a bell ringing to inform that he is here.

"Oh hello darling! What do i get for you?" A lady behind the counter asks warmly.

"Could i get some aspirin, please" Daniil answers and looks around. Vitamins everywhere, who needs vitamins anyway. No one.

Lady gives him the aspirins he came for:

"Here you go!"

 

Daniil turns to the door, ready to head to home.

"Don't stay up too late Dany"

"Thank you, i won't" He lies and fakes an easy smile.

He is back on the street. Cold air is surrounding him and he tries to pull his jacket more. He is tired of this weather. He is tired of everything and everyone. No one has ever helped him, no one cares about him. He can't take it anymore. No one told him his life was gonna be this way.

He looks around. Britain is such an beautiful country but he can't see it anymore, he is too deep. He sees everything black and white. No joy or happiness. Sun is rising already. It paints the sky with different shays of grey. The nature is dying too. Flowers and plants are withering, winter is coming but Daniil isn't going to stay to see it.

He climbes stairs to his apartment.'Daniil Kvyat', says his door. 

"They better change that soon" Daniil mumbles to himself.

He leaves his jacket and shoes to the hall and heads to the kitchen tears falling from his eyes. He opens his kitchen cabinet and quickly finds what he is looking for: A full bottle of vodka and a knife. He takes a deep breath. He can't stay. No one cares about him, they are better off him. He walks to the bathroom, he is determined about this.

Daniil steps into his bathroom and starts running water to the bathtub and opens his vodka bottle. 

"This will fix it all"

He doesn't care about anything. Everyone will miss you if you go, his psychologist said. 

Bullshit, Daniil thinks to himself.

He quits his shirt very carefully and steps into the bathtub. He drinks his vodka and takes way too much aspirin. Tears are running from his eyes as he leans for his cellphone. He calls Pyry.

"Please answer, pick up the phone" He says and cries out.

Pyry seems to be still sleeping. Well atleast Daniil tried to get help before it was too late. 

Even he doesn't care about Daniil. No one hears him crying. He puts an empty bottle of vodka next to the tub and takes the knife. One cut, two cuts three cuts... His wrist is bleeding. The blood is turning the water red too. He raises the knife. More cuts, one, two, three, four, five. He squirms in pain. He is too drunk, he can't stop this.

"Are you all happy now" he asks with shaking voice. His arms, neck and wrists are all bleeding. He tries to catch his breath but he can't do it. He feels life escaping from his body...

 

At that time Pyry wakes up from his apartment. He looks at his phone: Dany has called him. Pyry looks at the time he called him. 3.56. It's very late, he should've been sleeping at that time he thinks to himself. Then it hits him. He must have had something very important. Pyry calls Daniil. but he gets no answer from the russian. He starts to get worried, he quickly dresses up and heads to the door of his flat. 

Pyry climbs the stairs. He has climbed these stairs countless times. Suddenly he sees a door with name Daniil Kvyat on it.

He knocks the door.

No answer.

He rings the doorbell.

No answer.

He is starting to panic. He has a key to Dany's apartment anyway. For emergency situations obviously. He opens the door and starts looking out for Daniil.

"Daniil where are you?" He asks and looks from the bedroom. He looks from every single room until he finds the right one. 

"Daniil....oh god" He whispers and chrouches down to his side. He sees the red water and the empty vodka bottle and realises what has happened. He takes his phone and makes a quick call. 

"Wake up Daniil...you can't leave me like this please" He sobs to him but he just lays there, lifeless.

 

Daniil was rushed to the hospital. He can't breathe on his own. He is in coma now, laying in a bed in a hospital room. Pyry is sitting on a chair next to his bed. He has buried his face into his hands and he is sobbing quietly. Daniel is standing next to him, having is hand on his shoulder, tears falling from his eyes too. The doctors told them that Daniil is gone, his brain got too much damage.

"It's true?" A voice behind them asks.

"Yes" Daniel says and turns to see the man. Christian Horner walks towards the bed where his lifeless driver is laying.

"I can't believe it...i...i loved him and i never told him that and now he is gone" Pyry sobs. 

"It's time to let him go" A doctor says finally.

 "He will race in paradise now"

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is a difficult topic to write about, but i felt that i really should write this seeing my own situation.  
> Thank you for reading this and leave a kudos & a comment if you liked this fic!


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